The Science of Waiting to Write

Why your brain may not be ready to tell the story just yet.

One of the most thoughtful emails I received after my TEDx talk came from someone who said she’d gone out and bought “the most aesthetically pleasing little journal” she could find because, after years of journaling, which “never worked,” she wanted to give directed expressive writing, which is intentionally not journaling, a go.

I have a soft spot for beautiful things, especially notebooks. After all, my Moon is in Taurus. Oh, did you think I was all neuroscience and no woo? Hardly. More like a curious scholar with a mystical streak who insists on evidence.

I love tarot, too, though probably not for the reason you think. To me, tarot isn’t about predicting the future. It’s one of humanity’s oldest storytelling technologies. The cards help me notice symbols, myths, and possibilities I might otherwise miss. They ask better questions than they answer.

Which is why I loved that she’d bought herself a beautiful notebook.

A beautiful notebook doesn’t change the science of expressive writing. But rituals change us, making practices like expressive writing often more effective. Behavioral scientists have found that symbolic fresh starts, whether they’re birthdays, celebrations of life, New Year’s Day, Monday coffee stops before work, and yes, beautiful new notebooks, increase our willingness to begin difficult things. Sometimes the first step in a directed writing practice is as simple as making the page feel like an invitation, not an obligation.

But then I found myself giving her advice that probably surprised us both. I told her she might not want to start writing just yet. Wait...wasn’t my entire recent TEDx talk about the power and need of cultivating a writing practice in your own life?

Yes.

And.

One of the most common misconceptions about directed expressive writing is that if it helps us process difficult experiences, then using it immediately after something terrible happens must be even better.

You know: get it out instead of gutting it out?

It’s a compelling instinct. But science, alas, has the importantly annoying habit of complicating perfectly reasonable instincts.

Research suggests expressive writing works best when we’re able to move beyond simply reliving an experience and begin organizing it into a coherent narrative. That means integrating facts, feelings, causes, and meaning. It isn’t simply emotional expression (which is one way it’s vastly different from journaling). It’s meaning-making.

Immediately after a traumatic event, the brain has a different job. It isn’t asking, What does this mean? It’s asking, What the hell just happened?

In the days and weeks after trauma, many of us are still physiologically dysregulated. We may be sleep deprived, emotionally reactive, still dealing with practical crises, or still exposed to the stressor itself. Our brains are trying to survive, not understand.

James Pennebaker, whose research helped establish expressive writing as an evidence-based intervention, has noted that for many people it may be better to wait a month or two before using the classic protocol. Not because writing is harmful, but because writing too soon may keep us reliving an experience that our minds and bodies haven’t yet had the capacity to organize into a story, however poorly composed.¹

As a writer, I’d much rather look at the hard parts sooner than later. 

As a scholar, I appreciate nuance.

And as a human, I’m learning that healing isn’t always about finding the right words. Sometimes it’s about waiting until your brain and body are finally ready to hear them.

I’m curious: Have you ever discovered that something which ultimately helped you only worked because you weren’t ready for it the first time?

The boring (but important!) stuff: ¹ James W. Pennebaker, Opening Up by Writing It Down; Baikie & Wilhelm (2005), “Emotional and Physical Health Benefits of Expressive Writing,” Advances in Psychiatric Treatment. Harvard Health also summarizes Pennebaker’s recommendation that many people wait several weeks after an acute trauma before beginning the classic expressive writing protocol: https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/writing-about-emotions-may-ease-stress-and-trauma